bad movie

"Sometimes life
can be like a bad movie.
You sit through it,
hoping it will get better,
suspecting that it won't
and wondering at what point
you can reasonably walk out.."

a thousand words

if a picture can paint a thousand words..
then why cant i paint u...
if my expression can tell u how i feel..
then why do i still feel unread..

u noe when u told me that ur moving...
it was like i just choked on sumting...
it was like a shock...n i felt gosh....
there goes everiting...

no more plans for birthdae parties..
no more outings..
i guess ill never reach the theme park with u...
no more sneaking ins..
no more prtetending to bump into u..
no more staying near u...

ull be far ...
far far away from me..
im just so afraid..
everyone's gone..
some changed for the ppl the love...
who haf i got left...
siti...
d onli one around...

the more i try not to show...
the more painful it is 4 me..
but like u said..
"its ur family choice"

drastic move i will not try to make bt if i do...
please try to undastand...

whats left of me...
is just emotions that i cant express on paint to show u how i realli feel...

Sorry 2006

syg...forgive me 4 d lies i told u
for the pain i brought to you,
for the silent suffering i caused...
n for all the tears i made you shed..

31st August...
dat nite u made me feel d pain i caused you..
even as guilt shadowed me i just refuse to b honest...
not realising tt u already know the truth...
the letter u left me...gosh...it must have been painful to you..

i never meant to hurt you...

syg i love you.. sorry.

JADED

u hurt me so much by doin the things u do...
syg, i wont forget dis day...
u noe wat happened...

have fun wherever u are..
you donot have to worry or get jealous by anybody...
i care 4 u too much...
i wont hurt u...
i oready did wat u want me to...
hope u feel betta now..

-jaded-

dun bother..

dun treat me like im stupid...
if u ask me sumting...n i answer u
do not reconfirm w d others...
y bother asking then??

it hurts u noe...
dun bother asking me aniting d next time ok!!!

gonE

Was it something I said, to make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold...
If I could just find a way
To make it so that he'll be right here right now...

*sighs*
no words can decribe how im feeling rite now...
tremendously sad.... dats d closest i can get....
ive been keeping it eversince dat day...
if onli i could turn back time, i would do anyting so dat day wont end like how it ended...
i wanted to make it easier 4 evey1 around...
so i smiled...n laughed n joked....
but i was tearing inside all along...

i kept it too long dat now it hit me so badly dat i cant stop tearing...
oh god pls...
pls make it easier 4 me...
y do this things happen so suddenly...when i wasnt prepared..?

mayb time will heal all wounds...

you...have alwiz brightened my day every single day ever since i noe u...
yet today ive lost dat brightness...lost dat light.....
tank u 4 d love d joy d laughter n d tears u brought to me....
i will take my time...recalling all d times we shared together...
tank u...

mwakZ~
love u ...still

10 things i hate about you

1. I hate it when you make me feel unwanted when we talk on the phone...
2. I hate it when you get angry when i'm angry....
3. I hate it when you never gave me a chance to plan an outing...when i wana plan to do something, you would iritate me by saying 'i can't confirm w you 1st.'
4. I hate it when you make so many plans....i kinda 4got most of it.... cos its like not gona hapen anyways.
5. I hate it when you hate d fact dat i club n dance with other people when u always find a reason not to club with me...
6. I hate it when you seldom include me in your plans..when i cant wait to include u in my
every activities.
7. I hate it when i listen to the fun you have with your frens but i cant be there.
8. I hate it when you dont seem to trust me...at times...
9. I hate it when you can just give up a special thing just because of minor2 reasons...
10. I hate it when I still love you so much that all d 9 reasons above don't matter at all to me...


Shah rizal, you are just too precious too me..
What is dis spell that you casted on me...?
Do not break dis spell...because im so happy in it....

love u ,
mwakZ~

randomization

writing down something actually helps. but actually doing it, now thats something else.

i can write so much here but nothing can be done. nonetheless i feel so much better. a piece of it left chunked up on this virtual page.

when tomorrow comes, its a just another vicious old cycle. over n over n over again. rolling on like another cream cake down the hill.

i used to be lonely. and happy. now im just lonely.

its like im in a room with so many people but they dont say a word...not a word to me.

im waiting 4 u to approach n talk to me...

make me smile...smile again...

people are talking
i see it in their eyes
sometimes i hear them speak
sometimes i hear them lie
and its making me sick
they just dont understand

im still waiting.....